Oh my black black heart

After many years of living in isolation, being a loner is one of the most satisfying feeling of all. Human interactions are so complicated, i fear my fragile heart would break into pieces. I succumb into the tranquility of my own mind, in my own world.

But to find friendship in an unlikely places is a whole new experience for me. I must admit that it is quite terrifying. I do not know how far i should proceed into the unknown world of friendship or how my heart should react to it. I have tried to run away for many times but my heart is melted by their kindness. To give and expect nothing in return is the ultimate act of well.... selflessness. Sometimes i do wonder if i have gone too far because this is not the path i wish to continue......But people always say savor this moment and forget about tomorrow. I'm sure someday i will remember these beautiful memories with laughter as well as tears in my eyes.

 I fear that the moment has come for us to finally say goodbye. We will not know what lies ahead, whether this friendship will stood the test of time or we will just be strangers again. My vulnerable heart should not walk through this path again. This experience has been sufficient enough for me to lock down my heart once again. Never to be open. Never to be discovered.

Being a villain has it advantages, no one can break your heart nor do you care what other people think or feel. That's the way it is. That's the way it should be.

Cold hearted. Loner. Dark.

Oh my black black heart.

Let's be friends again.

Australia and where is Blink 182?

 I went to Perth and Fremantle 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately i spend about RM15K to Australia without knowing that Blink 182 is coming for a tour Down Under this Feb & Mac.

WAILING!!!! WHY!!!....   I have no money to fly back to Australia anymore and watch their show. *crying.









Lots of other pictures but i'm just so lazy to download it. Heartbroken.















The Invasion of the Book Snatcher

Hurray! The books has finally invaded the bedroom. 

Mr Krab at Busan

Incheon airport

Just came back from Busan, Korea. I didn't even have the time to sort out the pictures from my recent trip to Seoul when i was asked to attend a meeting in Busan. 

King crab!! makan sampai nak muntah. sumpah tak makan crab dah, yang dalam perut ni pun boleh digest sampai 2 tahun

Korea

It took me more than 10 years to finally arrived at Incheon Airport after watching the ultimate Korean drama, Winter Sonata back in year 2000. It was a lovely autumn morning and i held my breath as i absorbed the almost golden leaves in Seoul.

It was a short impromptu holiday trip for my family and i am really looking forward to taste the real Korean food. As i walk into a restaurant near Nami Island, a zen looking small fountain greets me and  i feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside. This is a family business literally because it's partly their home and you can see their personal belongings everywhere. I saw Pororo and some toys underneath the stairs; a blanket on the floor near the Samsung (what else) TV; an assortment of ginseng and other herbs in bottles large enough to feed a whole bunch of wounded kung fu master (too much Hong Kong Drama); shampoo and other toiletries inside the bathroom. Luckily no underwear was in sight.

While every restaurant in top cities of the world compete to be the best in interior design with a michelin chef serving haute cuisine, this humble restaurant on the side of the road is personal and intimate in every level. I think it's charming. :-)

Currently Reading - Bill Bryson!!!

One of my favourite travel author. Witty and funny. I always love sarcastic jokes.

If you are interested in reading his books, i highly recommend Notes From a Big Country. An accurate observation on the American lifestyle. (with humor of course)

Currently Reading - Amy Sedaris!!

Martha Stewart always makes me feel kinda nervous and i don't think i can ever achieve my dream of becoming the perfect domestic goddess as flawless as Nigella. But Amy Sedaris is a breath of fresh air!

Amy's cookbook is  a whole new different kind of entertaining. It reminds me of all the pictures my dad had during the 70s. She is hilarious, confident and super crazy (in a cute way). Totally love her books.

Aku hidup zaman dinasour

Apabila melihat majlis perkahwinan kawan se-universiti melalui blog kawan baiknya.

Apabila melihat gambar sahabat lama bersanding melalui slideshow jurugambar yang ditempah.

Apabila menjenguk khabar kawan-kawan yang tiba-tiba terlintas di minda melalui google.

Hanya mampu tersenyum.

Hanya mampu mendoakan kebahagiaan mereka.

Hanya mampu melihat dari jauh.

Entah kenapa tiba-tiba rasa macam menjauhkan diri, walaupun tanpa sengaja. .Apatah lagi empunya blog ini tidak mempunyai akaun facebook DAN tidak bercadang untuk membuka akaun baru.

Semenjak dewasa ini (serta sangat sibuk dengan tuntutan kerjaya), lebih suka bersikap low profile. Oleh itu, selalu disalah tafsir sebagai orang yang sombong sedangkan empunya blog adalah seorang yang sangat pemalu.

Tiada niat di hati untuk memutuskan silaturahim (bukan bergaduh cuma lost contact), lebih-lebih lagi dengan sahabat yang telah dikenali lebih 10 tahun yang lalu. Kadang-kala Yang Maha Esa mengaturkan masa dan terjumpa kawan-kawan di shopping complex, sekadar bertanya khabar, formaliti yang ditunjukkan membuatkan diri rasa kaku. Segankah dengan aku? Mungkin perangai aku yang terlalu complicated membuatkan mereka tidak ingin berkawan dengan aku lagi.

Ketahuilah sahabatku, saat sekolah sehingga universiti, aku melalui cabaran-cabaran yang getir dalam hidupku. Persoalan maruah, keluarga dan akidah. Masalah-masalah serius yang memerlukan segala tenaga untuk ku fikirkan baik buruknya. Itulah kadang-kadang aku mendiamkan diri, berfikir dan berfikir. Aku sedang mencari jati diriku sendiri. Hanya Amin sahaja yang tahu masalahku kerana dia bertanya. He saw my face and he knew. Amin mengambil berat terhadap diriku. Terima kasih sahabatku, semoga businessmu bertambah maju jaya. Semoga anak-anakmu menjadi anak yang berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Betapa tangan ini ingin sms semula memohon maaf kerana tidak dapat beraya di rumahmu sesungguhnya diri ini sedang beraya di tempat lain. Walaupun beberapa tahun tidak pernah bersua, dia tahu aku sedang menangis apabila membaca smsnya.

Aku ingin menghulurkan tangan dan memohon maaf jika pernah terkasar bahasa mengusik jiwa. I'm sorry. Aku juga ingin memohon maaf kepada mereka yang sudi menjemput daku untuk berkongsi memori perkahwinan mereka, kebanyakan undangan tidak dapat disempurnakan atas tuntutan tugas (ya, termasuk sabtu & ahad) dan keluarga. Again, i'm sorry. I'm wishing you all the best.

Kadang kala apabila aku sedang memandu, tiba-tiba akan teringat lagu Sheila On 7 yang selalu dinyanyikan bersama-sama rakan.

"Mungkin diriku masih ingin bersama kalian"

" Mungkin jiwaku masih haus sanjungan kalian"

Sahabat, inilah kisah klasik kita untuk masa depan. Sekian.

Koboi

For the past few weeks, i had this theme going on inside my head. (Yes..... i have an over imaginative mind.) A handsome cowboy on horse ride, the orange colour sunset background and that ULTIMATE cowboy song. (Listen to Ennio Morricone live version of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly at youtube- mind blowing!)

OMG!! Don't you just want to live in this kind of lifestyle? Makes me wanna tear up my punch card into pieces. Anyway, i watched tv a few months ago about the life of REAL cowboys and boy aren't they delicious. I mean the corn bread. *Cough*

So i keep playing that Clint Eastwood song on my mp3 player and i just had this kind of urged to cook real cowboys' food. I took out the beef from the fridge, spread it with HP sauce, cajun spice mix and grill it on hot pan. Yummy!

Luckily, there are plenty of cowboy cookbooks at Big Bad Wolf Sale. I bought it and savour the pictures of cowboys cooking/grilling. (and still manage to look so rough, haggard and manly)

Le Sigh.

Para Pencari Tuhan

Just look at their funny faces!

I seldom watch indonesian drama. (nope, not even malaysian's one, too busy with Mythbuster and sitcoms). But i think i need to mention how wonderful this 'sinetron' depicts the life of muslim society focusing on community and religion issues WITH a dash of comedy.

My grandmother is Indonesion so i didn't have any problem understanding the language but my poor husband had to really depend on the subtitle. (but he's getting better) Anyway, it's fun to learn a language so similar to bahasa Malaysia and yet so different (is this logic?). I would laugh out loud because that is how my grandma talks- kolong, rumah sakit, keroyok, kamar mandi.

Great drama. Syabas!

Real food by real people

Foods that i cooked/baked for the whole Ramadhan!

Super easy chocolate tart. I love the ice cream texture.

Thai salad with dried shrimp.

Strawberry cake.

Pucuk ubi masak santan.




Cream cheese cupcakes. Yummy.

Chicken curry


Nais minyak



Roasted Beef with sambal and nasi ulam



all time favourite Laksa Sarawak






Assam Pedas Fish



Mushroom, sausages and pita bread



I never liked celery. But i like to stir fry it with chicken, it seems to bring out the sweetness of celery. (I am phobia of celery juice especially the one that they blend with carrots and apple)

Pride and Prejudice 2005- Is it really great?

Let me get this clear, i've read the book when i was a teenager. I've seen the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice waaaay before the 2005 starring Kiera's version. So when i did watch the 2005 movie, i didn't really pay any attention for i fear that i might BETRAY the BBC Firth's Mr Darcy. (Yes, i like to pretend that he exist, shut up)

But yesterday i watched it again for the second time and find it quite tolerable. But you really have to catch all the subtle moments to trully apreciate the movie. Kiera as Lizzie Bennet had been potray to be a little bit like a tomboy with plain clothes. I like the way she snapped the book when she talked to Mr. Darcy. Smart girl with her own opinion and she is not easily intimidated.

I also like the scene when she came to the ball and was looking around (looking for Mr Wikham i guess) and suddenly Mr Darcy was following her and just swift to the side without her even realizing it. Mr Darcy face was so cold so i couldn't really read his face. Is he happy to see Elizabeth?

My favourite would be the hand thing. If you obeserve the movie, when Jane Bennet wanted to get into the carriage, Mr Bingley helped her. But when it was Lizzie's turn, Mr Darcy TOUCHED her hand, look at her for a moment and walked away while doing the hand thing. Had he realized that he actually like her? I am also as confuse as Lizzie, because when he did the hand thing, does he feel a burning desire or did he feel disgusted? Mmmh...

( Picture courtesy of prideandprejudice05.blogspot, not sure whether the mix up was actually intentional, Miss Darcy and Mr Elizabeth)

This seems to be everybody's favourite. The rain clearly potray the tension, the gloominess and the sad effect of the overall situation. The famous rejected proposal. Mr Darcy had been so mysterious (that's why we love him), but in this scene you can actually know his feelings by just looking at his eyes......... he is almost pleading, "please love me, i cannot stand it any longer". He even moved forward and you can see he almost wanted to kiss her ( you can hear all of us, gasping and holding our breath at the edge of our seat). Anyway, i know that we all pretend we didn't know the ending yet everytime we read the book or watch the movie. Crazy, i know.

I still prefer the hand thing. It's just a hand but it strike to my heart.

When i watch P & P 2005 for the first time, i didn't like Mr Bingley. Isn't he suppose to be good looking? Bonham Carter is still the best Mr Bingley. So will i watch it again? Those puppy eyes? Yes. But the BBC version is still in my heart. It will not go anywhere anytime soon because i can't just simply forget THE look. Smouldering look......

The end.

I still can't forget the hand thing.

Chef Wan Sweet Corn Bread Recipe

This book has been with me for 10 years.... I love it and tried almost every recipe from trifle to muffins. *fond memories*

Until one day i had the golden opportunity to meet Chef Wan (one of the top celebrity chef in the world) in person! The crowd was mad and i basically had to push myself forward. The 'bodyguard' insist that Chef Wan will have his lunch first but when he saw my book he quickly came towards me and sign it. Ha! Take that bodyguard!

It even smelled of dead cockroaches. But old, torn apart books are always welcome at my home.

Anyway, i love corn and how versatile it can be. From chilli corn bread to the sweet type, I just can't get enough of it. I've tried various recipe so far and Chef Wan's Sweet Corn Bread is the best!

3/4 cup all purpose flour

3/4 cup rye flour

1/2 cup cornmeal

3 tsp baking powder

a pinch of salt

2 eggs

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 cup (250ml) evaporated milk

1/2 cup (125ml) creamed corn

Method:

- combine the first 5 ingredients in a bowl

- in a separate bowl, beat eggs and sugar and add butter

- fold in dry ingredients into the batter alternately with milk until well mixed. Add creamed corn

-pour into a square baking dish. Bake in an oven preheated to 205 degree celcius for 20 minutes.

Notes:

* Anyway, i've been having difficulties to look for rye flour so i just add the same amout of cornmeal. So far, i didn't have any problem with it.

* Just mix/ beat it lightly- the cake will be soft and fluffy. Yummy!

Currently reading at the same time having fun

All the equipments are ready and i bet my son will cry. Can't wait!! Yehaa!!

(Tears of joy)

Takuya!!! Argh!!!

"I can give you Gatsuby, Gatsuby, Gatsuby."

"Moving Raba. (Moving Rubber)"

Whatever it means.

Ha ha ha!

To eat or not to eat

" You look so skinny" Someone told me. I said " I don't know. i just eat whatever i want." Both of them look disgusted. They are ASSUMING that i'm on diet and i'm LYING. One day a bunch of us went out for lunch. Those 2 ladies set aside half of the rice, declaring that they couldn't finish it and other various excuses. Me? I ate my heart out and felt that the Tom Yam is delicious. That my friend is hypocrisy at its best.

Will you marry cook for me?

He's like Tom Delonge mix with Jamie Oliver!

I'm like a school girl. *shy* :-p

Necklace Frenzy

I would buy a new necklace every week. It's like a new hobby! And i love naming each of them!

Lost in space

Plain Jane

Full Moon





Fallen Angel

Can't wait for the next weekend to hunt for more!

One more

Pizza dough

8g yeast/ 2 teaspoon
1 teaspoon caster sugar
1/2 teaspoon of salt
2 cups of plain flour (115g darab 2)
2 tablespoon of olive oil
180 ml (3/4cups) of warm water


Mix warm water, yeast sugar and salt into a bowl. Stir well with fork. Cover with plastic wrap set aside for 5 minutes. Preferably in a warm place.


Sift flour nto the same bowl, add oil, mix well with spoon. Knead dough - 10 minutes



Placed dough into oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap and a tea towel. Leaave for 30 minutes. Give dough a punch, knead.



200 degree celcius. 10-15 minutes.



Btw, recipe from karen cheng.

Roast Chicken Recipe

I have a bad habit of collecting cute notebooks of all sizes. Everytime i buy it i would imagine that i write travel journal, poem, recipe etc. But nope. I only did my travel journal for only 1 paragraph, no poem at all and my favourite recipes are everywhere. The fridge, under my bed, drawers and it got lost along the way. So this will be like a virtual future references for me and there's no harm in sharing it!

Oriental Roast Chicken with Sage and Roasted Vegetables

To blend:

2 inches of ginger

5 cloves of garlic

zest from 1 lemon

1 tbs dark soy sauce

1 tbs light soy sauce

1/2 tbs balsamic vinegar

1 tbs sesame oil

2 tbs honey

1/2 tbs of chinese 5 spice powder

1 whole chicken

1 handful of sage

5 carrots cut into halves

5 potatoes cut into wedges

5 leeks chopped roughly

some olive oil'salt and black pepper to taste

Method

Rub all the blended ingredients on the chicken, Make sure yuo rub inside as well. Marinate for 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 250 celcius. place chicken in roasting pan. season it with salt pepper and sage. put some sage leaves under the skin of chicken too. season carrots, potatoes, leeks with salt pepper and olive oil.]

Put the chicken in the oven and turn the heat down to 150 celcius.

After half and hour, add the carrots potatoes leeks into the roasting pan.

Roast for a futher 1 hour. Once you stab the thight with aknife and juice runs clear, chicken is ready.

Recipe provided by Cold Storage.